You Have Permission – a must read for all recovering people pleasers (and ‘self-squishers’)

This is an excerpt from a book by my new favourite entrepreneur woman, Leonie Dawson

 

I thought it was a perfect reminder for all you recovering people pleaser’s (and self squishers) who struggle to put themselves first, and shit on their own dreams and needs, in favour of others.

 

Naughty (it’s okay, I did too, once upon a time)

 

Also – I’m feeling all hot and bothered today and my brain is saying: ‘Nup – no, clever ideas for writing today – leave me be’ So… Leonie Dawson steps in to save the day

 

(*also, the word ‘entrepreneur’ and I are not friends. I hands down spell it wrong EVERY.SINGLE.TIME) I just want to own up to that now, in case you see some monumental spelling fuck ups down the track.

 

ANYWAY – the thing I wanted to share (geez, be patient please, we’ll get there in a minute)

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The short story of what a Life Coach does

Are you like: I’ve heard of it, around the traps, but I dont actually know what a Life Coach does…?

Not to worry, I’ll soon clear that up for you

 

Besides lounging around in mismatching pyjamas and probably eating cereal for lunch, a Life Coach supports you to make positive and meaningful change in your life (a life that might currently feel a bit boring, unfulfilling and unhappy for you).

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Constantly strapped for cash? I wonder if you’ve considered this…

On a routine ‘chucking’ expedition at my house the other night, I found my mothers old jewellery box in amongst the crap that I had stuffed lazily into our lounge room cabinet. What was exciting, was what I found INSIDE the jewellery box – it was so heavy I almost dropped it as I pulled it out of the dusty corner – I hadn’t laid eyes on it all year.

 

There I was: 9 O’clock at night, standing amongst a pile of junk, in my mismatching pyjamas, grinning from ear to ear like a moron and fist pumping the air with happiness…

No, I’m not insane and I’ll tell you why in a minute. But first:

 

** Spoiler alert

 

I’m about to say some things – to do with our attitude to money – that might sound a little ‘woowoo’ and strange, at first.

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Ughh, Shut up Mind (my experience at a silent retreat)

Every now and then I like to do something a bit random and weird to shock the system – especially when I feel like things are getting a little monotonous and uninspiring.

It reminds me that I’m in control of where I’m headed. keeps things interesting, etc.

 

So this October I thought I’d try a silent retreat with a mate, because she asked me, I love a bit of weirdness in my life and, WHY NOT.

I can be silent, I thought. EASY. I love quiet.

WRONG.

Doing nothing and being silent is actually really fucking hard.

Lets recap

 

Last week I was stressed out of my skull trying to keep up with the ‘everything is urgent’ demands at work, submitting my assignments & making an appearance on social media (and my blog) so that people didn’t forget about me – AND MY ADHD  MIND, NANCE.

 

Every task I did at work was multi-tasked with another and I realised I didnt actually take a proper deep breath, all day, till getting in my car of an afternoon. So you can imagine my excitement for my 3 day long binge of peace and quiet and nothingness at my retreat.

 

On the 45 minute drive out there, I tried to prep myself by turning off the radio and just looking at and listening to what was going on around me.

 

About 10 mins into the silence, I noticed my mind panicked ever so slightly about all the things that COULD happen to me with no phone service and no one (besides Laura) actually having an address for where I was.

 

Standard mind shenanigans.

 

This story telling & catastrophizing got louder as I turned off the main road, onto a narrow, winding gravel road for the last 15 kms of my journey. Checking my phone, it said ‘no service’ – which suddenly made me nervous, Ironically, the day before, I was praying to not ever be bothered by anyone or anything again.

 

Make up your mind, mate.

 

It probably didn’t help that my car was low on petrol. My mind toyed with the idea that my car COULD break down out here – in the middle of nowhere – and I’d have no phone reception to ring NRMA, would I?

 

Like it thought that would just be the end of me and I’d surely die out here.

 

The end.

 

I argued back (silently) that I had 2 perfectly working legs and I could simply walk to the nearest house to  ask for help. And Laura was out here somewhere too – following not far behind me in her car. 

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